¡bienvenidos a miami!
where i stayed and what i ate and how hot it was
hi! winter seemed like it was going to hang around through june, so my boyfriend and i booked a fairly last minute trip to miami a month ago. work has been so crazy work so i’m just getting around to writing about it. we go to miami about once a year, and it’s always the best long weekend getaway from nyc. being raised in florida, going to miami always feels like home – the heat, the water, the chaos…i love it! we went about two weeks ago and even for may, it was abnormally hot. so i figured i would give you all a cute little recap and rank what i did on a 🔥hot factor🔥 from 1-10!
where we stayed:
esme miami - for this trip to miami, we did four days, and for the first two we stayed at the Esme in miami beach. my boyfriend and i usually stay at the standard and so we rarely ever go to the beach in miami because we are always just by the pool there. while staying in south beach is not my favorite, the Esme is on one of the cutest streets in the area called española way. it’s closed off to cars and full of beautiful spanish architecture and though it sometimes gives little italy vibes, it also has some of the best bars and restaurants in the neighborhood – which luckily are situated right in the hotel!
the rooms are also a bit small, with the bed taking up most of the room but i was barely spending any time in the room anyways because they had a cute little rooftop pool, good food and drinks, and everyone that worked there was super lovely. in addition to the pool, they also have a designated beach area about a 5 min walk from the hotel, which we went to on the first day we got there.
the hotel property is also really expansive, but feels tucked away from the goings on of española way, and they have an on site bar called el salon, which we got some really great drinks at (and breakfast in the morning)! they also have a omakase sushi on site which we did not see, and they own the drexel. we did however go to another restaurant for dinner which was in our hotel room’s building called el tropazon (not owned by the esme hotel)!
hot factor: 7/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
the standard miami beach - for the second two days, we moved over to the standard (we had to!). it just wouldn’t feel like a proper trip to miami if we didn’t stay there. this hotel is one of my all time favorites and one of the few hotels where i want to stay on the premises all day and don’t feel guilty about leaving. i think everything here is so well thought out – from the cafe to the cocktail lounge to their little hotel shop. blake and i always get a cortadito and one of my favorite pastelitos every morning at the cafe. (also – if you’re a slut and have an AMEX platinum card like me, you get mad discounts here so take advantage!)
we got ourselves a sexxxy room with a bathtub out front, and our friend Wes came down for these two days and stayed with us. all we did was lay out by the pool, go to the spa, eat at the hotel (their poolside menu is actually quite good) and drink cocktails at their really nice little cocktail bar which has one of my all time favorite cosmos! also the clientele…by the pool you will almost certainly see someone you know from nyc, at least three gays with an onlyfans page, an old person who looks like an orange birkin owned by an olsen twin, and a few pregnant people (while a stay here without drinking a margarita sounds awful to me, i definitely can see the appeal of this hotel for a babymoon). the pool is also open all night, which always means squeezing in a fun night swim after a night at twist!
go here with someone you love (or someone you want to hook up with), or don’t and find someone at the hotel, i’m not here to judge!
hot factor: 10/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
what we ate:
boia de - this restaurant has been on my miami wish list for a few years, and with a new michelin star, i was very happy to snag a reservation. one thing that will trip me up about cities like LA and miami is the way an acclaimed restaurant will be in the middle of a strip mall next to a laundromat…
this place was so cute, with a very laid back and unpretentious vibe and a deeply knowledgeable staff. it was 100% my type of hospitality, and the food was some of the best i have eaten recently (and prob one of my all time favorite meals in miami).
we had: we split the chopped salad, blake got a beef tartare (it’s one of his favorites and he never gets to eat meat with me so it only felt right to let him get it), the baby artichokes (heavenly), and then two pastas - a saffron vongole and a zucchini pasta, both phenomenal.
for dessert we had a crispy tiramisu made with shortbread, which i will be adding to a future list of “desserts i will gladly go into a diabetic coma for”. ~watch this space~
hot factor 11/10 for the crispy tiramisu 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
tropezon - this restaurant was basically inside of our hotel building, and i rarely eat spanish food, so i was excited to try this place out. food and drinks were excellent. my only criticism is it felt like a lot of the sauces relied on the same kind of taste profile across so many dishes, but it was a great spicy peppery type of profile so i wasn’t too mad about it!
we had: patatas bravas, pan con tomate with anchovies (must get), asparagus with chopped hazelnuts and romesco sauce, crispy fried mushrooms, and a fab paella with the biggest shrimp i’ve ever seen!
hot factor 7/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
mandolin - a miami CLASSIC. i come here just about every time i am in miami, and though it is beyond popular, it is for a REASON. the outdoor dining, the menu, the spritz – it all just hits right. you’re almost always certain to run into someone here. we went with our friend from nyc and her friend that she was in town with. needless to say…
we had: too much to write down, basically half the menu. the standouts for me were the baked feta, the octopus, and always always get the dips.
(sorry i didn’t get any pics, i was too buys LIVING IN THE MOMENT)
hot factor 7/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
carbone - i have never been to carbone in nyc, but going for the first time in miami somehow felt more right. something about a miami/las vegas vibe felt more on par. i also wanted to be snarky and say how overrated it was, but sadly i was wrong. (it happens once annually, do NOT get used to it!)
the service was next level, the restaurant itself is pretty gorgeous, and the people watching is just breathtaking. i got to sit next to not one, but TWO couples made up of a beefy guy with a shaved head that is probably a UFC fighter and a blonde girl in a sparkly skin tight dress clutching her vape the way i clutch my insulin pen!
we had: delicious espresso martinis, a mountain of free bread, pickled veggies, and parm (that they do not tell you comes for FREE! FREE!) a caesar salad prepared tableside, the spicy rigz (had to!) and a beautiful sea bass (also prepared tableside). they also bring you the rainbow marzipan cookies for free (FREE!) which are my favorite dessert ever.
hot factor 8/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 for the free shit, great service and the laughably big menus.
okay that’s the summary of my miami trip! i would say i’m sorry for writing this a month late, but this is MY substack and MY rules and i’ve just been swamped. i hope you enjoy these recs anyways!
xx
bonus if you go to miami and love me very much, please will you get me this shirt? i will give u a lil’ kiss!
